"Sologamy is in fashion, because no one will love you more than you do, so marry yourself!" This is how an Instagram post by a Spanish company that organizes wedding ceremonies begins. Sologamy is the act of marrying oneself, a phenomenon that reached Spain in 2011 when the first wedding of a woman to herself was celebrated. It is usually women who get married, and although it is not a legal ceremony, it is symbolic. The reasons that lead women to marry themselves are diverse, ranging from "self-affirmation" to protesting against social conventions or pressures to marry.
In some cases, sologamy stems from a refusal to have a partner – women who have had enough of Tinder and social pressure and decide to look for their own soul mate within themselves. However, sologamy does not necessarily imply singlehood or celibacy. The idea behind sologamy is that a person does not need to find their "better half" in order to be happy.
The phenomenon has become so widespread in Spain that in 2020, director Icíar Bollaín reflected it in a film called La boda de Rosa (Rosa's Wedding), which depicts sologamy as a vindication of women's desires in a society where their role has been limited to caring for others above themselves. This act is a vindication of putting self-love and commitment to oneself first.
On Instagram, we can find more versions of what sologamy is: it is about being a complete woman, not depending on others but only on oneself to find happiness. It consists of a declaration of self-love and self-acceptance, loving oneself more than anyone else and prioritizing one's own needs. Sologamy is also understood as a commitment to being the best version of oneself. Those who do it often define it as an act of "self-love," "independence," and "empowerment." Some define it as a new way of forming bonds with others, loving oneself first in order to love others better, or as a search for fulfillment.
Among the women who have married themselves, some have also divorced. As always, the reasons vary. Some say that the constant pressure to evaluate themselves and remain faithful to the idea of self-love had become a source of stress. It seems that love is always complicated.
