An article published in Le Parisien étudiant1 last Valentine's Day highlights a contemporary mode that characterises romantic encounters and non-encounters among certain young French people. The article focuses on young students aged between 18 and 30 who have chosen to remain single/celibate and concentrate on their studies. Under the motto "prepa maquée, prépa rate",2 these young people, who describe themselves as belonging to Generation Z, have chosen to remain single/celibate, following a trend that originated among young people in China.
"Staying celibate or single" is presented as a lifestyle choice, while being in a relationship is considered a "waste of time" that necessitates "having a stable situation," which "can be complicated."
For some, the #alphabetdating trend on social media, which shows couples doing activities beginning with the letter A on one day and activities beginning with the letter B on another day, leads them to conclude that romantic relationships "take up a lot of time". Far from seeking a romantic encounter, these young adults use contemporary signifiers such as "self-love" and "self-care" to avoid falling into "the complications of a romantic relationship" and emphasise that "we have the right to exist on our own".
In an era characterised by the dissolution of the social bond, which produces subjects seeking to deal with the real through non-committal encounters, one young woman points out that unlike thirty years ago, when being single meant neither affectionate nor sexual relations, today people say they are single while still having a sex life. "Sex-friends or friends with benefits," "flirting," "adventure," and "one-night stands," are the words young people use to talk about an encounter with a partner.
As we approach the next WAP Congress, "There is no sexual relation", I pose the question: is this a generalised repetition of the non-encounter and the solitude of the One,3 of the One-all-alone? Beyond any possible encounter, what is the insistence on solitude in the form of celibacy? Is it the loneliness of the single/celibate person who takes the non-existence of the relation with the Other to the letter and whose solution would be to avoid any encounter with the Other?
[1] Floux, F., "The couple is a waste of time": "they have chosen to remain single/celibate and focus on their studies," Le Parisien étudiant, 14 February 2025, available online: www.leparisien.fr [Unpublished in English].
[2] "Prepa" is short for Classes preparatoires aux grandes ecoles (CPGE). In English, the motto might say, "if you're shacked up during Preparatory Classes, prepare to fail!"
[3] Cf. Lacan, J., The Seminar of Jacques Lacan, Book XX, Encore, On Feminine Sexuality, the Limits of Love and Knowledge, ed. J.-A. Miller, trans. B. Fink, New York/London: Norton, 1999, p. 120.
